Date:         Wed, 11 Apr 2001 08:23:52 -0500
Reply-To:     Discussion of Topics for Soccer Referees <[log in to unmask]>
Sender:       Discussion of Topics for Soccer Referees <[log in to unmask]>
From:         Ivan Mann <[log in to unmask]>
Subject:      Re: O Canada ... the frozen north (unserious) (now positively
              flippant)
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed

This must be due to the Norwegian influence, since Canada is so close to
Lake Woebegone.

I assume that all Canadian soccer players are above average?

Ivan Mann

>We Canadians are so polite that we apologize to inanimate objects when we
>bump into them. At a soccer match you'll tend to see rows of parents
>sitting
>quietly approximately 5 meters from the touch line (space allowing),
>applauding good play by members of either team, and murmuring admiration,
>agreement and praise for each call by the refereeing team. Coaches do their
>player development at practices, and tend to sit in lawn chairs while
>managing substitutions and making notes about areas of focus at future
>practices. Players stay in the team area, and don't go visit mommy for a
>drink of water or to pet the family dog. The pitch is even, the nets have
>no
>holes in them, and the mosquitos - well, we don't have any.
>
>In fact, about the only way you'll provoke an assembly of Canadian fans to
>uncontrollable rage is to suggest that the swill spewed forth from certain
>American factories might be called beer. That stuff is like having sex in a
>canoe.
>
>Like, how's it goin, eh? Pass the back bacon (and the flameproof kit).
>
>Jim

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